American Horror Story: Coven 3×04 Fearful Pranks Ensue

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FX Networks

This week, the Council comes to the school to investigate the events of the last episode. Secrets from the past are revealed, including how Spalding lost his tongue.

Spoilers below.

The episode begins in 1961 New Orleans. A black teenager riding his bike home from an integrated school is chased down by white men and hung from a tree.

Marie works a spell bringing the dead back to life to attack the men. The undead tear the living to pieces, literally.

In present day, we see tongueless Spalding (Denis O’Hare) has many, many dolls and is hosting a tea party for some of them. He overhears last week’s argument between Fiona and Madison and goes to see what’s happening. As we saw last week, he sees Fiona kill Madison.

Fiona hears a noise in the greenhouse and discovers Queenie has been badly hurt by the minotaur. Fiona and Cordelia fight about Cordelia’s dealings with Marie and Queenie stops breathing. Fiona brings her back.

Madame Delphine LaLaurie is found in a closet by Fiona. Delphine realizes Queenie saved her and tells Fiona that Marie sent the minotaur after her. Fiona tells her to keep that to herself and that it’s been handled. Marie opens a box sent to her salon, revealing the minotaur’s head.

Meanwhile, Kyle’s undead life continues to suck as Zoe finds him repeatedly banging his head against a toilet. Some things, like people, pets and all dead things, are better left dead, darling. Zoe apologizes to Kyle and brings him food seemingly poisoned with rat poison. Unfortunately for, well, probably everyone, Kyle has gotten loose and it’s Halloween.

Chantal tries to stop Marie from starting a war with Fiona, reminding Marie she was a hero for bringing forth the truce in the first place years ago.

We find out Cordelia’s husband, Hank, is having aggressive sex with another woman. She asks him what he was for Halloween last year and he replies, “Me? I was a monster.” Okay, he’s messed up.

Queenie finally comes to. Yay! Delphine tells Queenie, “I don’t know how to thank you for saving my life” and Queenie says she’ll have to work on that. Nan announces that “they” are here, meaning the Council.

Cordelia assumes the Council is at her school about the incident with Queenie. Cordelia then also admits she went to see Marie, digging herself a deeper hole. The Council is here for none of those things.

The Council is made up of Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy), Quentin, who says, “Fiona, you’re a caution,” and a stern woman, Pembroke. Nan called them there because she thinks Madison is dead, since she can’t hear her anymore.

The punishment for committing “grievous harm” against a member of the Salem bloodline is death by fire. The Council questions each member of the school, finding out the rug Madison was wrapped up in is missing and that Madison had developed new powers, according to Nan.

Queenie, to the Council: “Madison Montgomery is a stone-cold bitch that loves hard drinking, big dicks and trouble. If she’s dead, it’s probably because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job or something.”

Elsewhere, Cordelia’s husband, Hank, talks to his smitten girlfriend-thing, who confesses she really likes him. He asks, “Is that a problem?” She responds, “It is if you’re gonna break my heart.” He then casually shoots her in the head. That’s what every nice girl wants in a husband, batshit crazy homicidal tendencies.

Myrtle confronts Fiona on her being a terrible Supreme. We find out it was in 1971 when Fiona killed Anna Leigh, the previous Supreme that had negotiated a truce with Marie. Young Fiona sobs in front of the Council then, acting distraught despite having murdered Anna Leigh. Fiona is named Supreme Elect. A younger Myrtle doesn’t approve of this choice, knowing Fiona is lying about what happened to Anna Leigh.

Younger Myrtle casts a spell on Spalding so he can’t lie. Later that night, Spalding is found with his tongue cut out.

Back in present day, Myrtle is interrogating Fiona.

Myrtle to Fiona, on the record, in front of the Council: “No witch has been tried and convicted and burned at the stake since 1926. And on a personal note, I’d like to add I’ve got a book of matches in my pocket, Fiona, and I’m just dying to light this fire.”

What a badass. Myrtle then calls Spalding to testify and instructs him to write down the name of the witch that cut his tongue out. We find out Spalding cut his own tongue out after overhearing young Myrtle cast an honesty spell on him. Right before cutting it out, Spalding tells young Fiona his last words are, “I have always loved you.”

Present day Myrtle explodes when she thinks Fiona got away with it yet again. Cordelia testifies that Fiona didn’t kill Madison for being the next Supreme because she couldn’t have been the next Supreme. Madison had a heart murmur and soon to be Supremes are always extremely healthy.

Meanwhile, present day Marie raises the dead, again.

Spalding puts on a bonnet and a nightgown, bringing a dress to Madison, who he has propped up in a chair, holding a tea cup. Oh, good. This bodes well. I’m glad Madison is still around but I prefer her living.

Fiona and Cordelia sit in a bar, each asking the other three questions, which they must answer honestly. Fiona lies about killing Madison. Cordelia throws up in the bathroom. As she cleans herself up, a hooded figure dressed all in black throws a clear liquid in her face that burns her.

The cute neighbor brings Nan cookies as a thank you for the cake she brought him last week. The nice moment is cut short when there’s a loud banging on the door. Delphine opens it and recognizes one of the undead to be her dead daughter.

The camera pans back to show not just three but a whole bunch of undead converging on the school. Aim for the head, ladies!

Bonus Points:

Can we take a minute for how fabulous Madison’s shoes are when she’s rolled up in that rug?

Spalding makes a creepy scarecrow, which he then gives a big hug. This was so cute!

Delphine greets trick or treaters at the door, which is a pretty fun scene, too.

So, how did this Halloween episode rank with you? What is up with Cordelia’s husband, Hank, killing that woman? Where do you think Kyle ran off to? Most importantly, on a scale of 1 to yesterday, how soon does Spalding need an actual, not crazy, living friend?

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