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To My Tall Girls, Wherever You May Be

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Dear tall girls,

Despite what the new TurboTax commercial says, you’re not tall in a gross way. What does that even mean? All heights are normal and beautiful. But just in case you’re in that awful, awkward teenage zone where everything about you seems like a point against you, listen to me: You are perfect.

Do you tower over other people in school? Do strangers on the street stop you to ask how tall you are, do you play basketball, volleyball, will you get this item off of this high shelf? Do you hear random people make stunned and kind of rude (and sometimes very rude) comments about your height when you pass by? Do people occasionally just straight up stare at you? It’s not weird. They’re weird. You’re perfect.

I’m 6’1″ and a half and female, and that’s strange for some people, I guess. I’d always been tall for my age but then I grew seven inches in one year of middle school. That made me Tall. And you know what? I like it. It’s perfect.

There are lots of affordable options now for buying jeans and dress pants. No more specialty stores or men’s jeans. You can get cute 37″ inseam jeans readily online, from stores like Alloy.com. No, seriously, some are ripped and badass and others have rhinestones for when you want to go bling-blanging down the halls. It’s perfect.

Most importantly, don’t take criticism from some stupid tax commercial in which a helpless woman needs a man to answer questions and do her taxes for her. Uh, hello? You don’t need a guy for any of that. You also don’t need TurboTax. There are lots of options if you don’t want to do them yourself. Trust me. It’s perfect.

So, tall girl, know this: high school ends, real life (which is much better) begins and you are not now, nor were you ever, gross. You’re perfect and I love you, just as you are.*

*Okay part of that is from Bridget Jones’ Diary but I’m pretty certain Mark Darcy would back me up on this.

PS – Don’t put your shirts in the dryer.

SNL – Josh Hutcherson/HAIM

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Last night’s SNL was an it’s almost Thanksgiving, let’s just phone this in episode. Josh did the best he could but this was no one’s best episode. It’s okay, man. Jennifer Lawrence’s SNL hosting gig didn’t go great either. All right, let’s dive into it.

Josh’s cast member Hunger Games monologue was pretty good, led by Kate McKinnon’s perfect Effie Trinket.

Many more sketches below!

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