American Horror Story: Coven 3×07 The Dead Recap

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Tonight, Fiona and the Axeman grow closer while Cordelia comes up with a plan. Zoe struggles to help Kyle and Queenie is faced with a tough choice.

Spoilers below.

The episode starts with a pre-death Kyle rocking out in a tattoo parlor to Toto’s Rosanna while his fellow frat brothers get tattooed. Kyle tells his brothers he’s going to be an engineer and make sure the levees failing during Katrina doesn’t happen again. He won’t get tattoos because he wants to make sure he’s taken seriously at meetings.

Cut to Kyle sobbing in the greenhouse as he’s got his brothers’ tattoos on him. Not knowing what happened to him and figuring out he’s got body parts that aren’t his attached to him, he asks an approaching Zoe, “What am I?” It’s so heartbreaking and exactly why dead things should stay dead. Realizing that, too, Zoe has Madison’s gun behind her back.

Madison, glamorous as ever for having recently been a corpse, lounges on the steps of the main staircase, smoking. Through voiceover, Madison explains she spent her whole life trying to feel nothing and now she’s doing anything to feel something. She drinks any witchy substance in the house, tries to feel the burning from a flame on her hand, eats everything and this feels nothing. “I’m going batshit,” she says. “I need to do something.”

Zoe explains to Kyle he has to die and it’s her fault for bringing him back. He steals the gun from her and tries to shoot himself but she wrestles it from him. They both sob and Zoe says, “I don’t want you to die.” Talk about a messed up relationship.

Queenie and Delphine go to a fast food drive thru after finding Madison has eaten all the food in the house. Delphine is panicked by the drive thru speaker. The employee asks if they want to supersize their order. Delphine’s eyes light up. “Do we dare?” she asks. “Hell yeah!” Queenie replies. These two are fantastic together.

Queenie and Delphine bond and Delphine confesses she doesn’t mean to be offensive but this century has her confused. Queenie: “Do you think I’m any less perplexed? I dragged my ass all the way here from Detroit to be with my, quote, sister witches and instead, I’m sitting in a fast food parking lot at 3 in the morning with an immortal racist. How did that happen?” That’s amazing. Then Delphine ruins it by saying the other girls won’t ever accept her because she’s black.

Cordelia gets a call from her horrid husband who says he’ll see her soon. He’s got heavy artillery laid out in front of him. You sure picked a winner, Cordelia. Cordelia then hears something in the house and almost falls down the stairs but Madison stops her. Cordelia touches her and sees that Fiona killed her.

Meanwhile, Fiona is with the Axeman, which is, of course, the worst idea ever, even though she doesn’t know it yet. They’re alone at his place. How he got a place so fast and has it all lived in and stocked up with jazz and bourbon, I don’t know but somebody probably died. Axeman says he can tell Fiona likes danger.

Fiona excuses herself to his disgusting, bug ridden bathroom where she discovers her hair is falling out. What Fiona doesn’t see is a very dead man in the tub. Mystery solved.

They get very close to kissing but she panics when he puts his hand in her hair. Fiona tells him she has to go, he was to be a one night stand. The Axeman talks of destiny and maybe they’re more.

Fiona: “You don’t want anything to do with me. I am a wretched human being. A miserable, mean, goddamn bitch, I always have been. I’ve had three husbands. I’ve destroyed every decent relationship I’ve ever had, including one with my daughter.”

The man who kills people tells her, “Love transforms.” She disregards this and he suggests just sex then. She laughs like a schoolgirl when he explains his fingers and tongue and saxophone talent. They have sex that blows a light bulb out.

Zoe has moved Kyle to her room and tries to help him verbalize what he needs. He says he’s not stupid and she tells him she knows that. He throws food across the floor and Madison walks in. She has no memory of Kyle and how they brought him back. Madison tells Zoe that Cordelia wants to talk to her.

Zoe leaves and Madison discusses being dead with Kyle. Madison says it’s more empty here than the nothingness on the other side. She says, “You’ve been wondering if it was worth the trouble. And I’ve been wondering the same thing.” They hold each other.

Queenie visits Marie. “I’m surprised it took you this long to see me,” Marie says. Marie offers Queenie a place with her if she brings Delphine to her. Queenie asks what Marie will do to Delphine but Marie tells her not to worry about that.

Cordelia, buzzing with all the information she knows now, sits Zoe down. Cordelia: “The Axeman was a bad spirit. You not only brought him here, you sent him packing, which means you are one hot shit witch.” Cordelia warns Zoe this puts a target on her from Fiona, who killed Madison. Zoe laughs this off, saying no one, including Madison, knows who killed her. Cordelia tells Zoe she knows Fiona killed Madison because she thought she was the next Supreme. Everyone’s catching up now.

Cordelia: “So, if she even thinks you’re next, you’re next.”
Zoe: “Holy shit.”
Cordelia: “Right?”

Zoe asks what they’re going to do. Jacked up on badass, Cordelia replies, “It’s simple. We’re going to kill my mother. Kill her once, kill her good, kill her dead.”

Zoe goes back to her room and finds Madison and Kyle having sex. She immediately closes the door and walks away. Tough break, kid. Your undead boyfriend ditches you for your undead best friend and Fiona might murder you. That’s a bad day.

Fiona tries to leave the Axeman’s apartment, telling him she’s called the cops about the dead body. He says he knows she didn’t. Then the Axeman reveals he knows everything about Fiona and has been watching over her in the school since she was eight. That’s not creepy or anything.

We see when Fiona was a girl, a nasty witch, Helen, bullied all the younger girls, spilling milk on them. When Fiona’s doesn’t, she tries to make Fiona pour it on herself. Instead, she throws it on Helen, who then knocks Fiona down. As she walks away, a china cabinet falls on top of Helen. In present day, Fiona tells the Axeman she knew she didn’t knock the cabinet over.

Fiona asks the Axeman what he is. He tells her he first saw her as a daughter he had to protect. When he realized she didn’t need protecting, being “the most fearsome thing that ever lived,” he fell in love with her. Fiona says she doesn’t believe in ghosts. Axeman: “Nor did I feel like one.”

Axeman confesses she gave meaning to his life and all he ever wants to do now is give her pleasure. They kiss, she slaps him and tells him to go haunt someone else. Well, at least he doesn’t want to hack you up. Plus side, Fiona.

Spalding wakes up tied to his bed with Zoe watching from the foot of it. She asks him how he’s feeling and he says, out loud, that he’s fine. Stunned, he moves his tongue all around and asks whose it is. Zoe: “Yours. I found it the other day, hidden away.” Another gem from the closet she found last week. Myrtle had enchanted it to keep it from decaying but hadn’t the power to reattach it. Zoe, on the other hand, does. And did.

Zoe demands the truth and Spalding still can’t speak a lie. He fights saying Fiona killed Madison. In horrible pain, he caves. Spalding: “My family has served this coven for ten generations. I have devoted my life to it.” Zoe says, “Not anymore,” and stabs him in the heart. “You’re done talking.” Man, when Zoe witches up, she witches up.

Queenie comes across Delphine carving a turkey at night in the kitchen. Remembering Marie’s words, Queenie asks what was the worst thing Delphine did. Queenie suggests if she tells it, they can be friends.

Back before Delphine was buried underground and after she put her daughters in the torture dungeon, she discovered Sally, one of her slaves, had a baby with her husband. She invites Sally up to her room to help with her beauty regimen. Sweet as sugar, Delphine explains to Sally the only treatment that works is young blood and this particular batch came from Sally’s newborn.

Queenie is horrified. Delphine goes further and says the next day, Sally jumped to her death off a balcony. She says she buried her with her baby. “It was the right thing to do,” Delphine insists, like she did Sally a favor. Queenie: “You have no idea what doing the right thing even means.” Delphine: “I’m learning, Queenie.”

Delphine then genuinely says she’s grateful to have “a true friend” in Queenie. Yeah, something tells me that friendship isn’t long for this world.

More of Fiona’s hair falls out so she grabs an electric razor and tries to shave it off. Instead, jazz plays and she stops.

A bloody Zoe showers. Madison walks in and suggests they share Kyle. She shows Zoe to their room, where Kyle is sitting on the bed. Madison sits next to him and they both reach out for Zoe. She hesitates, then takes their hands. Her towel drops and she climbs into bed with them.

Fiona watches the Axeman play sax at a local club. After, she asks to buy him a drink. He accepts.

Queenie leads Delphine to Marie’s salon under the guise of a new hairstyle. Marie and her coven appear from the shadows. Delphine tells Queenie she doesn’t know Marie and what she’ll do to her. Queenie replies, “Yes, I do. It’s the reason I brought you here, you dumb bitch.” A shocked Delphine looks at Queenie, hurt by her betrayal.

Delphine is locked in a cage. Marie asks Queenie if she wants to make the first cut. Queenie does. After, Marie, staring at the camera, carefully applies Delphine’s blood to her face and neck like war paint, then says, “Beautiful.” In case you weren’t already aware, Angela Bassett is a freaking badass.

The next new episode is in two weeks, on December 4th. It looks like Queenie has second thoughts about handing over Delphine. Elsewhere, the battle between Fiona and the other witches at the school rages on. She tells the Axeman, “I’ll stay alive just to spite them.”

This was a hell of an episode, right? Everyone’s got their big girl panties on now. Zoe killing Spalding proves to me she’s becoming more and more ruthless, like Fiona. It’s amazing how two people can kill defenseless people but one is seemingly right to do so and the other is a villain.

Fiona’s alliance with the Axeman will serve her well, both emotionally and when the girls take her on. Nan was missing this week, which makes me sad. Even though things at the school are capital F effed up, I hope Queenie finds her place back there. I don’t want her to become as cold as Marie or Fiona.

What did you think? Are you on Team Fiona or Team Everyone Else? Do you think Queenie will help Delphine get away? Better yet, do you think Delphine deserves to escape Marie? Let me know what you think.

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