Danny Feld/American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.

Tonight, the team dives deep into Asgardian history as an artifact is found and leads to mass destruction.

The team is charged with cleaning up the mess left behind from Thor: The Dark World. There are all sorts of alien artifacts SHIELD doesn’t want the public to get their hands on. Fitz doesn’t understand why he has to do something a monkey could do, to which Ward replies, “You’re our monkey.” I don’t see you picking anything up, Ward.

Simmons ignores a call from her parents wondering what is going on in the world. She hasn’t even told them she almost died two weeks ago. That would be a difficult conversation.

Skye wishes there was an alien ship left to explore but Coulson doesn’t want another thing to clean up.

Coulson: “You know, it’d be nice if for once, Thor and his people sent down the god of cleaning up after yourself. They probably have a magic broom for this kind of thing.”

Then the topic turns to Thor, in a different way.

Coulson: “I can’t think of a time anything alien in human hands ended well.”
Skye: “I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on Thor. He’s so dreamy.”
Coulson: “Sure, he’s handsome, but–”
May: “No. He’s dreamy.”

FitzSimmons find a piece of a ship that looks like brass knuckles, except not brass and only two knuckles. Ward sprays it and locks it in a box.

Meanwhile, in Norway, Jakob and a white-blonde haired woman cut down a tree in search of an Asgardian metal whatsit. The two grab hold of it at the same time and it fills her with literal burning rage. She superhuman pushes a guard into next week.

Later, at the same site, Ward talks Simmons through climbing the tree as she’s now afraid of heights. Falling out of a plane will do that.

Ward: “Focus on what you like to do best.”
Simmons: “Yep. Not falling.”
Ward: “No. Research. You’re a scientist. You like to figure things out.”
Simmons: “Yes. With my doodads.”

Simmons figures the tree is 9,000 years old. FitzSimmons run scans and tests on it, proving it’s Asgardian, not Chitauri.

Jakob and the blonde chick have gone on a rage rampage in Oslo, causing much mayhem and destruction. They also lit up a message in the street in fire: WE ARE GODS. Well, someone’s got a high opinion of themselves.

Ward tells the group the girl is Petra Larsen. Both she and Jakob are “leaders of a Norse paganist hate group.” Norse paganists are people obsessed with Norse mythology and Asgard, Skye explains, “and the numbers are growing thanks to what happened in Greenwich and the internet. Yay, internet, she said, sarcastically.”

FitzSimmons figure the staff has been broken at both ends, meaning there are more missing pieces. Skye suggests Coulson call Thor but Coulson says Fury told him Thor is “off the grid.” Helpful, dude.

The team go visit Elliot Randolph (Peter MacNichol), a Norse mythology expert. Randolph says the staff is from the Berzerker army. The warrior it belongs to fell in love with Earth, didn’t return to Asgard and buried the pieces of the staff so no one would find it.

Skye’s research on the Norse paganist hate group has revealed a simple truth.

Skye: “They believe they’re going to ascend to be the gods of destruction and death. People suck, sir.”
Ward: “That’s your progress? People suck?”
Skye: “These people do.”

Ward and Skye investigate an underground creepy dungeony place in Seville, Spain. Ward runs into Randolph, who says, “I have a wonderful explanation.” Ward grabs Randolph’s stuff, unknowingly taking hold of a staff piece. It glows, he burns and remembers someone nearly drowning in a well. Randolph runs off and bumps right into Jakob and Petra. They take the piece of staff.

Ward undergoes tests, shirtless (thank you), and Skye says, “You were acting not right.” Ward is aggravated and said he remembered something from a long time ago when he touched the staff. Skye asks Ward if the memory was of his brother. Ward verbally rips Skye’s head off and then Simmons’ for talking.

Ward gets particularly ugly when Fitz recommends sedating him. “And if I’m sedated and we cross paths with those juiced freaks, the ones who flip cars and smash people up, are you gonna take them on? Keep us safe? Or am I going to have to save Simmons’ ass, again?” He says all this with a threatening, angry finger pointing at and poking Fitz’s sweatered chest.

Coulson interrogates Randolph who says he doesn’t know how Jakob and Petra found the staff. “It was just a chance to uncover something that the gods brought down from the heavens,” Randolph says.

Coulson, with a quiet, angry intensity: “Aliens brought it. From space. I’ve spent some one on one time with aliens before. Didn’t work out too well. So, cases like this are personal to me.” Wow. Don’t make Coulson mad. Thanks again, Loki.

Ward beats the crap out of a punching bag while flashing back to the kid in the well begging for help. May pulls him out of it but not before almost getting punched in the face.

Ward: “I’m working it out.”
May: “You’re punching things. The last thing you need is to punch things.”

May offers to help him. He turns her offer down. Ward tells Coulson he never thinks about his childhood and the staff reopened the well memory, the first time he says he felt hate. Coulson says Ward confessing this proves he can trust Ward. He sends Ward in to interrogate Randolph to blow off some rage. He tries to stab Randolph but Randolph easily bends the metal. Ward: “You’re right. He’s Asgardian.”

Coulson deduces Randolph is “the Asgardian who stayed.” Skye, Fitz and Simmons, watching on a monitor, are super excited. Simmons wants to “cut him open a little bit” and get some samples. I love when she gets excited about creepy things like that.

Randolph explains he was a mason in Asgard and jumped at the chance to become a warrior and travel. He refuses to help Coulson find Jakob and Petra until Coulson threatens to destroy Randolph’s precious anonymity.

Ward asks Randolph in private if the effects will wear off. The superhuman strength, yes. The rage? “Give it a few decades and it’ll wear off, too.” Ward is pissed. Well, more pissed.

Randolph leads them to the last piece of the staff in a church in Ireland. Jakob has beat them to it and he stabs Randolph in the chest with it. Ward grabs hold of the piece, rips it out, screams like the Hulk and tackles Jakob over a second story railing.

Simmons tries to revive Randolph but CPR doesn’t work on an Asgardian. Coulson rolls up his sleeve and jams his arm into Randolph’s chest wound. “Sometimes you have to just jump in and figure things out,” Coulson explains.

Ward, jacked up on rage, takes on the Norse paganist crew that storms into the church. Ward full on remembers his brother crying for him at the bottom of the well while an older boy says he’ll throw Ward in if he tries to save him too soon. Ward lowers the rope anyway but it appears to be too late.

Present day Ward collapses and Skye rushes to him. Petra shows up and Ward goes to pick up the staff again but May stops him. “This time, let me help,” she says. May grabs hold of the staff and fights Petra with it. She assembles the entire staff and defeats Petra.

Randolph regains consciousness and tells Simmons, “You’re easily the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a thousand years.” Simmons smiles. Aw. No arguments here.

Later, Simmons answers a call from her parents. Ward and May discuss their experiences. Ward asks how she could have held all three pieces, three times the horrible memories. May: “Because I see it every day.” Oh boy.

Coulson tells Randolph about his death experience, lack of memory on what happened after and how he’s still alive. He suggests Randolph move to the northwest part of the country and promises he’ll visit. He’ll maybe even introduce Randolph to Thor if he’s in town.

Skye and Ward make up at a bar. Ward tells her his memory is about his brother. She says she’s there for him if he ever wants to talk. Ward: “I’m beat. Another time, maybe.”

In the hotel hallway, May, with a bottle of alcohol sees Ward. She goes inside her room and leaves the door open for him. He follows and shuts the door.

In the final scene, a shirtless Coulson with his guns a-blazing is getting a massage. He asks the masseuse, “Did I fall asleep?” She replies, “For a little while.” Dollhouse! Dollhouse Dollhouse Dollhouse. Sorry, it’s hard to contain my not-so-inner Dollhouse nerd. Coulson tells her he’s feeling relaxed. Coulson: “Tahiti’s too good to be true.” Masseuse: “I know. It’s a magical place.” Coulson wakes up from his dream, very startled. Oh man. What happened to you?

Next week, the team helps a woman is followed by bad luck and tragedy wherever she goes. Should be a really good one.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? What do you think really happened to Coulson? How is this thing with Ward and May going to play out if Skye ever finds out? Let me know your thoughts and predictions!