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In this week’s episode, the Colonel, a German Shepherd, is the only witness to the murder of his taxidermist owner, who was snapped in half by a reptiled tongued man in a cowboy hat (Steve Valentine, Nigel on Crossing Jordan). Sam and Dean investigate the murder with a lot of help from man’s best friend.
When we find Sam and Dean, it turns out Dean’s been helping Kevin get through the mother of all hangovers from his trip to Branson. Poor thing.
Sam and Dean look into the death of Max Alexander, the taxidermist, and find “DIE SCUM” written in red paint on his shop’s window. There is also a paw print in a triangle symbol in one of the painted letters.
Dean interviews Dave Stephens, who found the victim’s body. Stephens comes by the shop twice a week to collect the discarded animal entrails. What a job.
Sam finds the symbol is from local animal rights group, SNART, which stands for Saying No to Animal Rough Treatment. Yeah, that’s not too awkward sounding. The boys go to a local vegan bakery to track down the group.
Dean: “Always knew I’d find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.”
Sam: “What’s that smell?”
Dean: “Patchouli. Yeah, mixed with depression from meat deprivation. Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.”
They find Olivia and Dylan Camrose, the founders of SNART, who offer Dean a flax seed scone. The couple admits they spray painted the message but got scared off and maced in the eyes. Olivia says, “So now we look like total douchebags. Because we have to wear our sunglasses inside.” Dean shoots Sam his I told you so look.
Sam searches the internet and finds they weren’t maced but have necrosis, “premature death of tissues” which is caused by blunt force or venom. Putting together the constricted way the taxidermist died and the hissing Olivia and Dylan heard before they were attacked, Dean asks, “So, what are we talking here, some sort of freaky-ass snake monster?”
The freaky-ass snake monster goes to the local animal shelter at night and bribes the idiot on duty. Snake Monster then puts a bunch of cats in a bag. Oh no! The idiot walks in on him eating a cat whole. This is when a smart person would sneak away and run but he doesn’t and gets killed. No great loss there.
The next morning at the animal shelter, Dean notices the Colonel barks at men in cowboy hats. Sam calls Kevin asking how to speak with a dog and Kevin, who we don’t see or hear in this episode, suggests an Inuit spell. If it works, it should let them hear the dog’s thoughts. Dean offers to drink the spell mix. “Doesn’t look so bad,” he says. Then, after he drinks it, “I was wrong.”
The boys give up on the seemingly not working spell until Dean hears the Colonel telepathically telling him to change the station as “I Want to Know What Love Is” plays. I really want to hear Dean sing along to that song.
Colonel: “You call this classic rock? Next thing you know they’ll be playing Styx. And Dennis DeYoung? A punk.”
Dean: “Dennis DeYoung’s not a punk. He’s Mr. Roboto, bitch.”
Sam: “Why are you arguing with the dog about Styx?”
While Dean gets info on the killer from the Colonel, Sam tosses a napkin in the trash behind Dean. Dean retrieves it without thinking and gives it back to Sam, twice. Dean then joins the Colonel in barking at the mailman, yelling, “Hey! Hey! You! You!” When Sam points out Dean’s new dog mannerisms, Dean says, “Ruh-roh.”
Dean discovers he can hear all animals when a pigeon sitting on a street lamp poops on the Impala. Dean: “Hey, dick move, pigeon!” Pigeon: “Screw you, asshat!” Dean and the pigeon argue and it’s awesome. Sam tries to get Dean into the Impala when the pigeon says, “That’s right, Sally. Go cry to mama.” Dean whips out his gun, pointing it at the bird and says, “Oh, that’s it, you son of a bitch,” before Sam stops him.
At the animal shelter, Dean sees a poodle in the parking lot he, um, fancies. Inside, he finds a dog willing to give information to Dean for a price. That price being a belly rub from Sam. Sam complies and the dog tells the boys about the killer’s cat snack. The dog, who can also read, points them toward a cafe that was written on the bag of cats. Before leaving, Dean frees the dogs, one of which yells, “Freedom!”
The boys investigate the cafe at night, finding prescription painkillers and a cage of mice that sound exactly like Alvin, Simon and Theodore. The mice point Dean toward a refrigerator full of weird animal parts. Sam finds Chef Leo, the freaky-ass snake monster, has been using hoodoo to gain the powers of the animals he ingests.
Sam and Dean encounter the staff of the cafe who say the chef is having a private dinner and will be there any minute. Pretending to be health inspectors, the boys shut the place down.
Chef Leo attacks Sam, scratching a vicious wound into his neck, temporarily powering on Zeke to heal him. Leo demands to know how Sam did that but Sam doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Leo decides he’s going to eat Sam, which, you know, doesn’t bode well for Sam. Dean shoots at Leo, who Matrixes away from the bullet and throws a butcher’s knife at Dean.
Leo easily overpowers Dean and ties him up, saying, “All dogs should be leashed.” Dean can sense Leo is dying of cancer and like all villains, Leo starts to explain why he’s done what he’s done. Leo eats a wolf heart to kill Dean, who breaks free. Dean rushes outside and calls the entire dog pack from the shelter to take down Leo. They do and it’s super gross.
Dean, whose hair looks extra blonde in this moment, attempts to wake up unconscious Sam, threatening, “Don’t make me lick your damn face.” Sam wakes up.
Later, Dean says goodbye to the Colonel who is being adopted by Olivia and Dylan. The spell wears off just as the Colonel starts to tell Dean the real reason dogs were put on earth.
Back at the Impala, Sam questions why Leo asked what he was. Dean tells him Leo was crazy and he shouldn’t worry. He also realizes as he tells Sam that Leo was possessed by something he couldn’t control, “it was a matter of time before it took over.” Oh boy.
Every week, we get closer and closer to the Zeke secret totally being blown. I don’t think it’ll be much longer until Sam finds out.
This episode was ridiculous but it was also mega cute and had some really funny moments. Jensen has a knack for making silly things be totally adorable, like when he and the Colonel hang their heads out of the Impala.
The boys say they’re Agents Michaels and DeVille, like Bret Michaels and C.C. DeVille from Poison.
Leo tells Dean he smells like dog. How do you think that works? No, you know, I probably don’t want to know.
During his live tweet, Jared Padalecki (@jarpad) admitted he didn’t like any of the animal voices, saying he “imagined better” after reading the script.
Next week, Cas has major angel problems and he takes a job working in a gas station convenience store.
What did you think? How does it measure up to some of the more goofy episodes in past years? What was your favorite moment in this episode?