The Rise and Fail of My Cookie Kickstarter

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Earlier today, I found out about this potato salad Kickstarter. It had a goal of $10 and is at $38,017 in funding as I type this. It was $16,000 an hour ago when I set out on my own Kickstarter adventure.

Okay, so I’m not new to Kickstarter. I’ve backed Amanda Palmer’s project, the Be Here Now documentary, HappyCanes and the Veronica Mars movie. I did a bunch of backing before I got laid off last April and had to move back in with my parents. I’m 30. Now I’m one of those “Oh, you have my support but not my money because all I have is a moth in my wallet” people. (I had two moths but the second one suffered an unfortunate accident. I really don’t want to talk about it.)

I went through emotions about the potato salad venture: That’s hilarious; Wait, he’s making money; This is ridiculous; I’m broke and alone and I’m totally doing this. That last bit led me to my cookie Kickstarter, in which I would ask for funding to make cookies for myself. Chocolate chip, of course.

I filled out all of the information, took the photo above and set backer rewards, all of which brought this bit of light and happiness to my previously scheduled meh programming. What if this takes off? I thought, as I offered tweetlove, cookie cartoon drawings and a cookie itself as rewards. None of them were more than $10, my goal. Hey, if it works, why break it?

I got to the end of the Kickstarter process, where it gets less fun and carefree and becomes unbelievably terrifying. I would need an Amazon Payments business account, it said. Well, okay, I filled out all of this other stuff and went to college so I can do this, too, I told myself.

Thus began the fail of my cookie Kickstarter dreams. I’d need a business name, category, information on how much my business makes, average transaction amount and so on. I tried to keep going but I realized all of this would be hard to explain to H&R Block and/or the government next year. I certainly don’t want to end up in trouble because I owe some sort of taxes on my cookie Kickstarter and make it onto the IRS’ shit list.

And so it was I backed right the hell out of Kickstarter and decided to stay the course with my currently cookieless and jobless life. There are 25 days left to go on Potato Salad and it’s up to $38,673. Godspeed, Zack Danger Brown.

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